I hung out with Dazzle today!

Dazzle being my second girlfriend who broke up with me because I wouldn't have sex with her. Sometimes I feel bad saying that, because she's not THAT shallow... but at the same time, that's really the main reason.

We've stayed "friends" mostly because aside from moral beliefs, our personalities are pretty similar. If we hadn't broken up, I probably wouldn't have become a christian, and if I hadn't become a christian, a lot more would have probably happened between us.

She's with a guy now named Eric. Eric is tall, lanky, and actually pretty chill. We hit it off fairly well. We're pretty similar too, with regards to interests. He's also really awesome with technology stuff and modifying gaming/technologyt systems to play games from other systems. I don't know what he does (never asked)....

Reminds me of how before I was a christian, I judged people based on their interests... if we shared similar hobbies and interests, we were a perfect match (in that case, Dazzle and I should have ended up together, because she's the most like me of anyone I've dated.)... but now I date a lot differently... I love Sarah because she's of a mind set on reaching out and caring for people. She was a loyal friend. But we have very little in common in a way that 3 years ago, I would not have even thought of dating her.

Anyway, Dazzle came to Ellensburg for our mutual friend (Sarah)'s bridal shower (not Sarah who I dated). She brought along Eric because Sarah has never met him (neither had I...). Sarah and Dazzle lived together in Al-Monty (in the room next door to where Sarah lives now)... I should tell the story...


So I moved to college on Friday, September 14, 2008. I lived in room A318. Tuesday night, after a weekend practicing in my room for placement auditions, I get a knock on my door. This German/Philippino girl is at my door going OMG, are you the bassoon player?! You're really good and I love bassoon!!!



We hit it off really well, and ended up hanging out a whole bunch. We even had music theory class together. Then Friday, 3 days later, I ended up spending the night in her bed with her, making out and etc.

We then decided to be bf/gf, and tried it out. But she wanted sex, and lots of it, and I had very little dating experience, and was super intimidated at the thought of having sex... I was also pretty immature back then, so she dumped me. At the time she dumped me, I had actually decided that I'd give it another weekend, and if she stayed with me another weekend, we'd have had sex...

It was really awkward for a long time, especially because 3 days later she started dating my close friend and next door neighbor, Jacob (who also ended up being my roommate the next year).

She couldn't afford school anymore (no financial aid) so left for community college in Skagit county, but had a bunch of stuff go wrong with her family life and psychologically, so dropped out of community college. She presently works at as a caregiver for mentally disabled people.

Eventually, Jacob became a christian (and an exceptionally ignorant, holier-than-thou one at that), and he dumped her. About that time, Dazzle and I started being acquaintances again.

And for a long time, Dazzle and I have been "acquaintances"... She's a staunch atheist who loves sex, alcohol, and exposing herself (she once flashed all of holmes dining hall during a special Mardi Gras dinner event), and I'm... me. We're both geeks, so we get along on the basis of our similar interests and sense of humor.



And that's the story. Dazzle and I are acquaintance/friends. We acknowledge each others' awesomeness, and that's that. If she were a christian, I might be more interested in her than Carrie and Sarah combined. But she's not, and so we'll always only be friends.


So Dazzle and her boy Eric were here for Sarah (old Sarah)'s bridal shower... Sarah, a violin player, was the person who took me to church for the first time (and to Mars Hiill), and is marrying Peter, a violist. But they had a bunch of free time, so they stopped by and we hung out for several hours. We hung at the XA house (which was interesting because they're both atheist), then we went on campus to the music building, surc, pool, and japanese garden.

Then we decided to go on a wine adventure. We went to a grocery store and bought a wine she wanted me to try. We went back to the house and drank it while eating lunch till it was time for them to leave to the bridal shower.


the end.




Dazzle: "Well F*** life. I'll take video games and cats.... and wine. Lots of wine."

Why am I always depressed?

I led my "core group" bible study tonight.

Last week we decided that for some reason we want to read the scripture that will be addressed next week in Chi Alpha, at core, and talk about it.

The glaring concern, however, was that we would be skipping the scripture this week. and this week's message was all of Mark 13. The scripture for next week is most of Mark 14. These are both REALLY big chunks of scripture to get through.

It was even more tough because Mark 13 is Jesus telling the apostles about the end times and his second coming. There was NO WAY I was going to blow THAT off in core.

Of all the things that I thought weird about christians before I was one, the one that I found the most obnoxious and strange was the "fire and brimstone" preaching of apocalypse. I would guess that Revelation (and Song of Solomon) are the two most averted scriptures in the bible because of their wild nature. I personally have a problem with how christians react to these sorts of things... From my observation, typical christians address them in either of two ways: they preach it with condemnation and judgement, or they avoid it.

I don't want to do either. It's in the bible for a reason, so we should read it and love it as God's word (Song of Solomon is one of my favorite books). Besides.... you can't just read about fire and brimstone, and NOT talk about it... so we did.

We didn't do all-out eschatology... and it was pretty tame because we have people in our group who are not christians yet, who also are very passive. My main objective was to say "here it is, this is what's going on, and this is why it's in the bible. This is what we do in response".




dangit... I've lost interest in what I'm writing, and I don't think that what I've written is worth posting...... I guess what I'm trying to say is that I led core, and a lot of what I've experienced in the past before I was a christian was used to reach out to the people in my core who are not christians and help them be exposed to scriptures that are hard to approach. We also read the next chapter where jesus is anointed at bethany (expensive oil stuff), then they sit down for the Last Supper, and then the garden of Gethsemane and Jesus' betrayal. We glanced over a bunch of stuff that I'd rather we had more time to talk about, but we also had some good discussion. I think we got more people talking than normal. I tried not so much to ask the core questions for them to answer, but more to get them to come up with their own questions... I tried to get them to think for themselves and ask their own questions, then look for the answer themselves in scripture instead of me trying to shove doctrine down their throats. I have a little atheist who sits on my shoulder, and he was satisfied by the anti-indoctrination approach of my study.

Also, Tony came to our core! He's engaged to Melissa, XA's new staff member this year, and he just moved into town. He's going to be a regular member, and it's going to really benefit us.

Core went well. People were upset because we went 2 hrs instead of an hour and a half, but nobody could deny that we had good discussion. Plus most groups meet for 2 hrs.